Four Letter Words
by xoxIcing
Summary: Chitoge found herself in a surprising situation, something she never expected to do. She can just hope that she had made the right choice. Raku never saw it coming. He finally gets what he wants but, is it as good as he thinks it would be?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: A quick story that had been in my head. Its a little longer than a one-shot that I love writing so, this will be a little longer. Forgive me but I'm trying to get caught up to the manga and just finished the anime. I really hope that you all like this story as much as I liked writing it :)**

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A summer breeze blew past but it was not enough to cut the tension between Chitoge and Raku. The crashing of the waves broke the silence between them. She looked down with her shoulders down, feeling her eyes hot as she fought the tears back.

Her heart pounded hard against her chest, filling the sound in her ears.

However, no matter how heavy the words she said were, it felt like a huge weight was finally lifted. A strange sense of calm came over her as the thought was no longer hers. It was now out in the open.

"What did you say?" Raku said, after a few more moments.

He had heard her loud and clear but, for some reason, the words had not clicked.

"I think we should break up," she said, her voice no longer wavering.

Her eyes was now met with his, determined as ever. The urge to cry was no longer there. She knew that he would argue it and she knew the consequences of what she had said.

However, none of that mattered to her anymore.

It all started about two months ago, prior to their summer vacation. Chitoge was washing her hands in the bathroom when someone had approached her. Chitoge recognized her as a classmate but her name escaped her. Was it Isuzu Miki?

"Hi," she said cheerfully. "Isuzu-san, right?"

"Yea," Isuzu said. "I find it kinda funny actually that you and your so-called boyfriend act so sweet to each other when he actually is in love with someone else."

Chitoge narrowed her eyes at Isuzu, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, he can act all sweet to you all he wants but it's somewhat obvious who he really likes."

Chitoge turned the water off and turned to face Isuzu. "I don't know who you are but I don't appreciate you talking to me or my relationship about this. I don't think that I need to justify anything to you."

Isuzu smiled and shrugged, "Suit yourself. I just think that it's somewhat pathetic that you, like, keep pretending that he has feelings for you."

Chitoge didn't say a word to her. She now remembered that Isuzu liked started drama for no reason, which was why she didn't go out of her way to make friends with her like she did her other classmates.

Isuzu shrugged one more time, "I just think that you two deserve happiness and maybe he should have his shot at his. Later."

Isuzu left the bathroom and Chitoge followed her out. When she entered the classroom, she felt her thoughts catching up to her. Why had she not considered how Raku felt about her instead of obsessing her crush to him? If he didn't like her then who did he like?

She received a clue when she entered the classroom. She saw how close Raku was to Kosaki, looking embarrassed for being so close to him. She watched Kosaki smiling at him and for some reason, the smile looked very familiar to her.

She knew that Kosaki liked someone – was it Raku? By the way she was acting, it would have been him. Chitoge knew better than to ask her, since they had a pact to not reveal it.

Since he was acting really flustered towards Kosaki, was it because he liked her back?

She essentially got her answer the following Saturday during their fake date.

"Hey Darling," she said as she idly played with the spoon of her ice cream.

They decided on a small sweet shop where they can order as many things as they want. It was a change from their parade around town to appease their respective gangs.

"What's up sweetheart?"

"Don't you think Kosaki is cute?"

The question made Raku dropped his fork from the chocolate cake he was eating. He felt his face have a rush of heat and he averted his gaze. What was he supposed to answer this?

 _Yes, she is so cute. She is so unbelievably cute and it makes me heart pound and kiss her forever and ever and ever. She easily brightens my entire day and I could just hold her and dote on her and squeeze her forever._

"I guess," he answered, still not looking at her.

"Be real."

His facial expression clearly showed he was frustrated. Chitoge knew that she hit a nerve with him but felt no ounce of guilt. It wasn't that complicated of a question and she had been with him, fake relationship or not, to know that he was keeping something.

Why was he getting so flustered over a simple question – if he didn't like her then he would have responded apathetically. She wasn't expecting the type of reaction he was giving her.

"What kind of a question is that?"

"I thought it was pretty straightforward."

"What do you want me to answer? That you're more beautiful than her because I love you so much with all my heart?"

As he said that, he immediately looked around to see if any of the Beehive members were around, ready to pounce at him for answering wrongly. What was going on with her, he thought. First she seemed kind of distance and now she was asking him this.

"I was hoping the truth, Beansprout," she said flatly. "But, this will work."

The tone made Raku look at her. Suddenly, he became aware of the slight sadness in her eyes. She looked vulnerable to the point that he wanted to slide next to her and let her rest her head on his shoulders.

His heart started pounding hard.

"Is there something on your mine, sweetie?"

"No," she fibbed.

"You know that you can talk to me, right?"

"I know."

"I can't help you unless you talk to me," he said, his tone concerned for her.

As strange as their arrangement was, he somehow still deeply care for her. She may be crass, rude, easy to anger and a little bit of a warfreak, but somehow, she was still his to protect.

"I know," she finally said. "Just some things on my mind."

"Whenever you're ready," he smiled at her.

Later that night, Chitoge found herself knocking on her dad's office. This time was different of what she wanted to do. The last time they had a big argument, she really didn't care if they continued with their fake relationship. This time, though, she wanted to make sure that both sides were okay with the "breakup."

"Yes, darling?" Her father called out from the room.

"Can I talk to you about something?" she said as she entered the room.

Chitoge explained to her dad that she doesn't think she can continue with the relationship. She pointed out that both sides have quieted down from the all-out war and how there was less surveillance from both sides. She said it didn't seem like the end of the world and they can spin that the breakup was actually a good thing.

"Chitoge, are you sure you want to do this?" her dad asked thoughtfully.

She looked down to her palms, "yes. I really do."

"Okay, sweetheart," he responded. "We can make it work whenever that happens. As long as you both know that this is what you want to do."

"Thanks, dad."

She was about to go back to her room when her dad motioned her to come closer.

When she did, he pulled her to a big hug.

"I'm proud of you," he finally said. "Sometime when you love someone, you can't keep them in your grasp. It's better to let go of them."

For the remainder of the weeks leading to their summer beach trip, Chitoge spent her time observing Kosaki and Raku together. She never fully cared before but this time, she wanted to be sure. She would ask carefully worded questions to them and Ruri, gauging their responses.

They were both really skilled at hiding their feelings but little by little, she can tell that they both really like each other.

She almost didn't go through with it until the first evening they spent at the beach. She spotted Raku and Kosaki, sitting on the beach and looking up to the stars. They both looked so at peace with each other that she couldn't help but feel somewhat bitter. She clenched her fists together and feel her chest tightened.

Why did it hurt? She knew why. So why was she so unprepared for this?

"Chitoge?" Raku called out to her as she spun around to get away from the situation.

"Sorry, Onodera," he said as he turned back to Kosaki.

"It's okay," she said sadly, watching Chitoge basically huffed away.

Chitoge didn't stop as she continued walking down the beach. She couldn't walk any faster because of the sand so she stopped when she felt that she was at a considerable distance from those two. She was wrong when she heard Raku.

"Are you finally going to tell me what is going on?" He demanded.

She turned around to face him, her fists still clenched.

"I think we should break up."


	2. Chapter 2

Raku laid in his bed, playing with the pendant he had since he was a child. He thought of the girls who apparently had keys to open but for some reason, he wasn't so much concerned about who the promised girl was as he was wanting to make sure that Chitoge was okay.

It had been at least a month since the break-up happened.

It was a fake relationship.

So, why did this hurt?

He was still angry by how blindsided he was by what she said. It was bad enough that she surprised him with that statement. It was more like what she had said after.

The memory played so clearly in his head, it still didn't feel real.

" _What about our families?"_

" _I already took care of it," she said. "You are not changing my mind on this."_

" _Why didn't you tell me that you wanted to do this," he felt his tone rising._

 _Every little moment had passed made him angrier at her. How could she had been so selfish? Was this what was on her mind for the past few weeks? Why couldn't she talk to him like a normal person rather than a graceless gorilla?_

" _Aren't you happy that I am doing this for you?" She spat out._

 _He sighed, looking up to the sky. What on earth could she mean by that? They were doing so well for the past year._

" _You don't even like me that way anyway," she continued._

" _That's not true," he finally said._

 _Was it a lie? Was it the fact that the moon shone on her face, illuminating her cute features? Was it the wind that made her long hair whip around her body?_

" _You like Kosaki," she finally said. "I think that she likes you back and I just think that if we are approaching our last year in high school then we should live it with no regrets."_

 _He felt his heart drop._

" _What?"_

" _Please don't make me repeat it," she said, finally unable to hold back her tears. "I don't know if I can do this."_

 _She left and he stayed, trying to finally wrap his head with what had happened._

Raku was surprised that she did say she took care of their families. He was still alive and no one in her family, even Tsugumi or Claude, gave him a hard time.

He was surprised how well she played off that they had grown distant, which was obvious in the past two months since her conversation with Isuzu, and thought some time apart would be good for the both of them.

Their families were supportive of their decision. Some had offered advice to Raku but he declined it, just wanting to spend some time alone. He had noticed that Chitoge was acting a little cold to Onodera but he couldn't blame her.

The first day they got back to school, Chitoge asked to change seat, stating that she needed a change of pace. Her homeroom teacher shrugged and she actually switched seats with Marika, who nearly had a heart attack.

Word got out about their breakup, eventually. Marika went on full offense to get together with him and even Onodera was making herself a little more available by inviting him to her shop and taking small opportunities to spend some alone time with him.

Instead, he was in bed midday, wondering what Chitoge was doing.

His phone beeped to indicate that he received a message. He shot up when he saw that it was from Onodera.

 _Are you free?_

He replied that he was, he needed to get out of this funk.

 _Yea, what's up?_

What felt like five minutes of eternity and he received a message back from her

 _Just thinking that we should try this new cake shop. Want to come?_

He smiled. Well, he didn't have to fake a relationship anymore so he was free to see who he pleases.

 _Yea. Let me know where._

"Hey," Kosaki said, smiling when she saw Raku enter the café.

She could have killed Ruri when she had sent that message but was distracted when Raku said that he would meet her. Ruri picked out her outfit as soon as he said that he will meet her and pushed her out the door to the café.

"Hi," Raku responded, couldn't help the smile. "You look good."

Kosaki blushed as she sat down. Here she was, what looked like an actual date with Ichijou.

The server came by and took their orders. Within a few minutes, their table was filled with drinks and some pastries.

She looked around, well aware of her surroundings and realized that she didn't know what to say. Her heart pounded even harder and she doesn't know why she was having such a hard time trying to talk to him.

"Have you heard from Chitoge?" He broke the silence.

"No," she responded, relieved that he spoke but confused about the topic. "I mean, she is still in our class but I haven't talked to her or Tsugumi since summer."

"I see."

"She did say something weird though."

"What's that?"

"The last thing she said to me was 'You can have him."

Kosaki felt her heart pounding hard against her chest when she said that. She knew immediately what Chitoge meant. This was the closest thing she can come to a confession and now that this is out in the open and, since Ruri would kill her, she took this opportunity.

"There is something I do want to tell you," she began, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Raku perked up, looking at her directly. She could feel a slight blush against her cheeks and her hands feeling like they were shaking with adrenaline.

At that same moment, they saw Chitoge walking passed them. Raku diverted his attention away from Kosaki and stared straight at her. She was with a guy who was holding her hand. The guy was also carrying some shopping bags. Raku knew that it was the second Saturday of the month so most of her favorite shops would stock with new items. He also knew that they will be going to the cake shop two doors down because they also unveiled new creations.

Raku felt his anger rising again when he saw how carefree she looked. Her hair was slightly messy but held up with her usual red ribbon. She looked like she put a little more effort in her appearance with some natural looking makeup and a dress that looked newer and shorter to show off her tanned legs.

She turned to the café window and saw those two together. She grinned really big and did a thumbs up to them. The guy whispered something in her ear and she started laughing before they headed the other direction.

"How dare she do that," Raku said.

"Ichijou?"

"You saw that right?"

"I – I did."

"Do you know how he is?

"No," Kosaki said. "We haven't talked since the summer vacation."

Raku pounded his fist on the table, knowing that Kosaki did nothing to deserve this. The words kept replaying back in his head. He was here with Kosaki. It felt like a date. Why is Chitoge ruining it for him?

"Are you okay?" Onodera said, suddenly regretting what she had said.

"She didn't tell me," Raku finally said. "This whole thing about it being mutual. She didn't tell me."

He leaned back on his chair and whipped out his phone. He stared at it for a few moments and then put it back in his pocket.

"I'm sorry for how I am acting," he sighed.

Kosaki couldn't help but look sad, "it's okay. How about we just enjoy these cakes?"

She couldn't find the words anymore to confess her feelings for him. She was absolutely sure that he had felt the same way about her but it just didn't seem like it.


	3. Chapter 3

They left the café and Raku immediately grabbed his phone from his pocket. He knew well what he was about to do. He knew that he should not be typing and he knew that he should not have hit sent. Too late for that.

 _Meet me at our place. 20 mins._

He sent it to Chitoge and walked towards the overlook where he first took her.

She hasn't replied back so he wasn't sure if he would see her there. Maybe he just needed a reason to see her or maybe just wanted to see if she still cared enough about him to come.

Sure enough, within a few minutes, she arrived.

"Who was that?" he said as soon as she sat down next to him.

"A family friend," she replied nonchalantly. "He was just visiting."

"Anything else going on between you two?"

She turned to face him, clearly angry at his choice of words. She couldn't figure out why he was getting angry at her. He had a date with the one he likes so why is he talking to her like she had been cheating on him?

Wasn't it bad enough that she felt like he was just a little toy to him? His when he wanted someone else and now that she got to play with someone else, he would act childish.

"What are you trying to get at, beansprout?" She spat.

"I don't know," he said through gritted teeth.

"You better figure it out because this isn't fair."

They glared at each other for a few moments. At that moment, Raku had wished he was better prepared to see her. The wind blew past them and he was reminded the sweet honey smell and gunsmoke of her hair.

"You didn't tell me that you wanted to break up," he finally spoke.

"God," she said as she got up. "Are we still on this?"

"Yes."

"I am just a fake girlfriend," she huffed, crossing her arms on her chest. "This whole relationship wasn't real anyway so there is no reason for you to be mad at me."

"Why did you do it?"

Raku noticed how much she started fidgeting. She squinted up to the sky and started to impatiently tap her feet. Raku knew her well enough to know that she wanted to tell him but was too proud to.

"Please," he finally said. "Tell me."

"You're so focused on this that you didn't even notice that you had a date with Kosaki."

"It wasn't – Why do you care?"

"I just want you happy!" she finally screamed. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that I want you happy? Do you really think that I am that horrible of a person?"

As soon as she said that, she felt like she was choking. She wanted to cry on the spot because it was the first time she was confronted with that pain. Raku felt his anger dissipating when he saw how hurt she looked.

Raku knew that she couldn't lie. Even if she wanted to, her large blue eyes glistened as it was obvious that she was holding back tears.

This entire time was she just as miserable as he had been feeling?

Here she looked again. Vulnerable. The urge to protect her suddenly rose again and he felt powerless. Her hair fell around her face and her cheeks flushed red. His heart pounded again as he reached to push her hair away from her face. He slowly patted her head and she looked up to him, glassy-eyed.

"You're not a bad person," he said. "Our time together wasn't that bad."

"Even if it was fake?" she asked, feeling the evenness of her breath coming back.

"Yea," he said softly.

"You really need to figure it out, bean sprout," she finally said, knocking his head.

"I promise," he finally said.

This was the first time in weeks that he smiled.

It had been a couple of days since their conversation and their friendship felt like it was mending.

It started with a couple of small talk before class until Chitoge went from being really standoffish to her normal self. When he had asked her if it was okay to walk her home, she finally spoke about her conversation with Isuzu.

When she asked him if he liked Kosaki, he told her the truth.

Raku didn't understand why she looked a little hurt but he didn't want press the subject further.

However, he was surprised when Chitoge said that she will make it her goal to get them together.

Ever since then though, he had noticed that Onodera and he barely spoke. They had small conversations here and there but it wasn't like it was before.

He tried to talk to her some more about the small stuff, more so because of Chitoge's coaxing.

He would try to get her to talk more but it always felt rehearsed and stiff. Had their conversations always been like this? Was the reason why he struggled to talk to her because he was that enamored with her?

When their homeroom teacher announced their field trip, Chitoge's eyes lit up.

"Are you going to tell her there?" She asked, grinning from ear to ear, as they left the school.

"Why are you pushing for this?" He laughed.

She shrugged, "just want to see you happy."

There it was again. The way she said it, she smiled sincerely and he smiled back at her. Her eyes brightened a little and he felt his heart race again.

There was nothing more that he wanted to do than to kiss her.

"I might, gorilla."

"You should, beansprout."

The day of the field trip, Chitoge planned out a way with Shuu to get them in a group together. They would be visiting Kyoto so she thought it would be perfect to find ways to get them together so that Raku can confess his feelings to Onodera.

She felt like a masochist, especially when she still loves him. She was lucky that he still wanted to be friends with her so while she can, she will get to spend as much time with him as possible. There were some times where old habits come back, even with their fake relationship, she still hoped that it would be okay to call him by his pet names, hold his hand and just spent a lot of time together.

She had hoped that maybe the sooner Raku can get together with Onodera, the sooner she would be able to move on.

She oddly felt relieved when he told her that he was hurting from their breakup. Maybe, deep down, he cared for her? Maybe he might even love her?

No time for her to be thinking of that, she thought. If he wants to be with her, now he was free to do so.

The small glimmer of hope was dashed when she remembered her conversation with Izusu. Isuzu didn't say anything else to her, even after they had broken up and appeared to look like they were back together.

Her friendship with Kosaki was slowly getting better. She still couldn't help but feel deceived by Kosaki even when she knew that it wasn't her intention. Raku wasn't Chitoge's to have – Kosaki did nothing wrong and it took a while for Chitoge to accept that.

Kosaki just seemed happy to have her friend back with little questions. It was difficult because even though they were rivals in love, Chitoge made no effort to let Kosaki know who her crush was. If she was going to root for anything, it would be for Raku's happiness.

In any case, Chitoge mapped out the entire area and showed Raku where he should confess his love. Raku didn't seem to mind as much but Chitoge thought it was mainly nerves that was causing his lack of reactions.

There were sometimes where, as she was planning, she noticed how Raku hold his gaze a little longer. It would make her heart flutter a little bit but she couldn't focus on it.

After visiting a couple of temples and finally stopping that the perfect secluded spot, she motioned to the group that it was time for his confession. She looked at the time and saw that it was almost sunset. She wanted to give them ample of time to walk back to the hotel together alone and when she had checked the weather, she noticed that a large cloud was coming towards their location.

Ignoring the sign, she punched his arm and said, "Good luck."

She left Raku and Kosaki alone together. For what seemed like one last time, she tried to hold back tears, this time wanting to be alone again.

She told herself again that she was doing this because she wanted him happy.


	4. Chapter 4

Raku felt nervous. Actually, even more nervous than usual. Chitoge did a good job of shooing everyone away that he was extremely aware just alone he and Kosaki were.

However, he absentmindedly reached for the place where Chitoge had punched him. The past couple of punches she would throw were different. It was cute and playful, like how she were being the past few weeks.

It felt like once they had established that they didn't hate each other and that the breakup did hurt for the both of them, they couldn't get back to hating each other.

Even when he had that intense deep hatred for her after they broke up, it was gone the moment they were talking to each other again.

"Ichijou?" Kosaki said. "Where is everyone?"

"I don't know," he said, looking at her.

She really was just so cute. Pinchable. Sweet. She looked at him with great big brown eyes that if the light hit it just correctly, looked chocolate-like.

"There – there is something, er, that I want to tell you," he stammered, struggling to get the words out.

Her cheeks went red and she inhaled sharply, "yes?"

"I like you."

"You – you like me?" her entire face as red as a tomato.

"I've liked you since junior high," he said.

He paused, unable to finish what he wanted to say. He should have asked her out on a date as he practiced with Chitoge over and over again. He should have suggested a good restaurant that Chitoge and he visited back in Bonyari. He should have continued saying more than something as simple as saying that he liked her.

Somehow the words weren't coming to him as easily as it should have.

Kosaki looked like she was about to pass out that it made Raku feel like he made the right decision to not continue.

Somehow, he immediately thought of Chitoge and her smiling face, the look of excitement over something as small as finding a really good 500 yen ramen shop. The determined face she made when she decided on something for them to do on their pretend dates and how he had to plan out something good and enjoyable for them to do.

He suddenly thought of their conversations, how matter how lively they got.

There never was a dull moment between Chitoge and him.

He and Onodera, on the other hand, he thought about how little in common they have. It was bad enough that they had a hard time trying to carry a conversation.

He imagined how it would be if they were together.

Would they reach the same level of comfort that he has with Chitoge?

If that's the case then why is being with Chitoge so easy and natural with her?

"Oh, Raku," she said, softly. She looked down and suddenly felt like he was ignoring something important, "What about Chitoge?"

Raku was taken aback from what she had said, feeling for the first time that they were thinking the same thing. He repeated the same sentence of what she would say, "She wants me to be happy."

The minute he said that, there was something important nagging at him.

This was everything that he wanted. He wanted to be with Onodera and he wanted to be happy. If that was the case then, why didn't it seem like they go hand in hand.

Kosaki seemed to pick up on1 his hesitation.

She smiled sadly, "I need to talk to her before I can give you a response."

"I understand."

He felt immediately relieved when she said that.

His thoughts went back to Chitoge and especially the last couple months of their relationship. It felt real to him in a way, like they weren't under the pretense of false love.

It felt like he deeply cared for her and in her own way, despite how graceless she was, she always made sure that she was there for him.

She had always managed to make sure that he was okay. Whether he was trying to defend Onodera's honor or trying to do the right thing. It was her who reminded him the person he was and reinforced the type of person who he was.

No matter what he did, she was always by his side, being as supportive as she could be even when she had no reason to.

Suddenly, he imagined Kosaki's face warped into Chitoge and he mused himself with how she would react. She would probably turn beet red and uncharacteristically stammer a way out of his confession. He would probably have to kiss her to shut her up and show her that he meant it.

"If it helps," Kosaki said, breaking him away from his daydream. "I really like you too."

Raku looked up to the sky and saw that it had gotten dark really quick. There looked like a huge storm cloud over them. He narrowed his eyes and finally said, "We should get back."

His mind still on Chitoge, suddenly reminded of how she gets when it gets dark and storming.

He became acutely aware that she had not texted him that she was back at the hotel. He remembered that she loved the idea of visiting Kyoto and had mentioned that she wanted to do some exploring alone.

Could she had got that far off that she had gotten lost?

Something wasn't sitting right with him but he knew that he would get better answers if they were back at the hotel.

They held hands as they walked back to the hotel when Tsugumi rushed out to them, practically breathless.

"Have you seen the mistress?" she asked, her voice panicked.

"No," Raku responded, immediately letting go of Kosaki's hand. "I thought she was with you."

"She was but she said that she wanted to explore alone and told us to meet her here. She has her phone but we are not getting any signal."

As soon as Tsugumi said that, a large crack of lightning appeared. The color drained from her face, knowing how her mistress gets with this type of weather.

"I am such an idiot," Tsugumi said. "I should have followed her. We need to find her."

"Don't worry," Raku said as he ran the opposite direction. "I will find her."

He looked back to Onodera's sad face, looking disappointed that he left to find Chitoge.


End file.
